Tuesday was a crazy day. I had to shoot video, record voice overs, record a radio show, make dinner and then get over to Geva Theatre and see Thurgood. One of my favorite perks of this radio job is that I get to see all the shows. I brought my 15 year old son, Shaun. I figured he should see a play about Thurgood Marshall, the first African American to sit on the Supreme Court. I’m a bit of a history buff and casual wonk, so I was interested as well. I knew that name, Thurgood. I thought I knew why I knew that name, but I really didn’t know anything.
Lester Purry delivers a captivating performance as Thurgood Marshall. I went into this play not knowing anything about it. I didn’t know it was a cast of one. i didn’t know it would be a guy on stage talking to the audience the entire time. Well, it really was a whole lot more than that.
First of all, we get serious insight into Thurgood Marshall, the man. By the end of the first act, you feel like he’s a kindly old man you met on the train who had amazing stories of his life to share. I think we’ve all been in that situation, where a person keeps yapping and yapping about this or that and we couldn’t care less. This was NOT one of those times. Learning about the 14th amendment to the Constitution was something I had not intended. Plessy v Ferguson and Brown v Board of Education both ring a bell from my school days, but I had forgotten why.
It is important to remember these legal precedents. It’s just as relevant today as it was back then. I would argue it is even more relevant today, because we’ve come a long way as a society, but not far enough.
Thurgood Marshall was a smart and fair man who brought a new perspective and set of experiences to the Supreme Court and he was there at the right time. I only wish he was still there.
My son and I were mesmerized the entire time. I made the perfect dad joke after the curtain call. “Thurgood was ThurGreat!” Yes, he gave me the 15 year old eye roll too…
I could stand to lose 40lbs. That would put me down to about 175lbs. I was 174 in October of 2015 after I did a crash diet through the radio station. It wasn’t the first time I was down that low in my adult life either! I was down to 174 in late 2009 after I started getting really into fitness and nutrition. I could have stayed fit and healthy of body, but I was not healthy of mind. So, here’s the rabbit hole:
The Rabbit Hole – Read This and You Will Know Me Better Than Most People Do
I was unhappy in my life for so many reasons. I was laid off from my job in 2008 and then less than 2 years later was forced into freelance status by my employer. Now, a freelancer by definition means you are free to work for whomever you wish, yet this guy insisted that I could only “freelance” for him. So, what that meant was that he wanted me to be a part-time employee but not have to pay me through the payroll. We had a falling out and so I was without any employment for a short time. Because of this development, I was forced to stay home with the kids. Let’s see, this was 2010, so I had a 7 year old, a 6 year old recently diagnosed with Autism and a 3 year old. I was not happy about it.
My early adult years were mired in mental and emotional abuse. I have always been an insecure person, but I have always known that I possessed great talents. One thing that has always kept me from having the confidence I needed to succeed was my weight. I’ve been “husky” since I was about 10 or 11. Often times I was treated like “Verne’ in Stand By Me. My neighborhood “friends” in elementary and middle school were not very loyal to me. I had a couple of good friends in middle school – really good people. Like Stand By Me, we drifted apart…thankfully none of them were knifed in a fast-food restaurant. Fast forward to my adult years – my first professional job was so demanding that it really did a number on my psyche. It was very much like the film Office Space.
I had a super-ambitious boss and I learned a lot from him. The most important lesson I learned from him was how to be an effective manager: I basically do the opposite of everything he did. He used to call me a fat bastard. He used to hold me to higher standards than anyone ever did. He used to put me in charge and then have underlings check on me behind my back, asking other employees questions about when I arrived to work, when I left, etc. My relationship with this place of employment was very similar to that of an abused spouse.
I started that job in 1997, left in 2001, went back in 2002, left in 2003, went back in 2004 and left for good in 2007. I still have horrible nightmares that I have gone back to work there. It was a pseudo-creative job with long stretches of intense oppression and some nice travel. When I did travel, I was usually by myself or with someone that was nothing like me. I was usually lonely and always trying to find a girlfriend/wife. Trying too hard. I had one real relationship in my early adult years that only lasted 2 years, but we lived together and it was really intense. That ended abruptly and also affected my self esteem. It was shortly after that relationship when I started my “relationship” with this job. My way to cope with the stresses of the job and my own perceived inadequacies was to self-medicate. That really set the stage for this show that I’ve been performing for 20 years – a horrible horrible show.
Each time I was sufficiently motivated to really change myself, I was met with a setback. Many people are able to accept those setback and “sally forth”. I was not able to. I cannot even get into it now – because there is just so much – the rabbit hole goes for miles and miles. But, this brings me back to my 40lbs statement.
Sick and Tired of the Self Doubt and Lack of Confidence
I got into radio and that was a rough ride for my self esteem. My first week on the air at Fickle and I got an email from a guy who said I was horrible. I’ve learned to let that kind of stuff go, but I still have an insane desire for people to like me. I am working on that on a daily basis. I still have to deal with the fact that some people only pretend to like me because I work in radio and I can do something for them. Those are the people who don’t respond to my messages when I need something from them. They know who they are – and they are not bothering to read this anyway. But I am done with it! I am 45 and I am setting goals for myself and I don’t give a rat’s ass what people say about me. You have no idea how hard that is for me to write, but it feels good. Thankfully, I have the support of my lovely wife and 3 awesome kids and two cats. That’s all I need to be successful. It has taken me 20 years to grow enough to climb out of that dark well of loneliness and despair. The low dose of medication I am on helps too, but I am focused on dropping that too. I started my positivity blog and podcast so I could live in a positive world – a world of my own creation. A way to climb out of the rabbit hole.
If you would like to join me on the road to success and self-esteem, drop me a line and tell me your story. We can trade inspiring thoughts and quotes. I think we need to surround ourselves with like-minded people ALL THE TIME so we don’t fall back down the well. Lassie isn’t here to save us, Timmy – we have to save ourselves.
I have a belief that going the extra mile will get you an extra 10 miles when it comes to business…or even in life. I have a client who needed some re-records. It was part client changes and part fixes on my end, like pronunciations and an editing oversite. Our contract states that if the changes are at their request, I can charge a re-record fee – but if they are my fault, I can’t. I did the records and editing fixes and sent them back, but was trying to decide if I should invoice them or just let it go. I sought advice from others and got a bit of both sides of it, so I was still stuck. Then the client called back to let me know that there was another round of changes to record – but they were their changes and not mistakes on my part. Win! I could now confidently bill them for the work. But that’s not the point of my little story here.
When the second round came through they were very apologetic about having a round two. They knew it was an inconvenience for me considering my recording schedule was so tight – and I legitimately appreciated their concern for my schedule. I simply told them it was no problem and that I would consider it part of the first round of re-records and for them to not worry one bit. It was no big deal for me to act that way. I know people who would have given them the riot act – seeing it as an opportunity to bill again and go through that process. But I think that doesn’t do you any good for the long-term relationship with your clients.
My client was so happy with my attitude that she was happy to pass along how easy I was to work with to the CEO of the company. That is only good news. Now, I am on the CEO’s radar and that’s good capital. So, I put the quick buck aside and looked at the long-game….and if you’re not thinking that way, you’re doomed….eventually.
It was no big deal for me to act that way. I know people who would have given them the riot act – seeing it as an opportunity to bill again and go through that process. But I think that doesn’t do you any good for the long-term relationship with your clients.