Eureka! This is an exclamation of joy or satisfaction when someone realizes something. This happened to me while I was meditating this morning. I started meditating yesterday and I don’t know what I am doing. Right now, I take deep breaths and when I exhale, I imagine all of the stress and negativity that may be in me is expelled, as though it were smoke. It dissipates in the room and I take another breath. Each one is cleansing and as I fill my lungs, I imagine that life-giving air is absorbing any and all bad things, like a fluid sponge. I also started stretching yesterday – which I also did this morning. I am so horribly out of shape and stiff that I felt enough was enough. I started stretching and meditating in an attempt to change my habits. It is hard to quiet my mind, it’s just a torrent of thoughts with voices and memories, reflections of things I’ve said from all throughout my life. Imagine walking into a crowded room where everyone is talking – that’s my mind! Scary, isn’t it?
This morning I sat with my meditation music (a playlist on Spotify) playing off my phone, the living room heater on and the cats running around the house like maniacs – they had just inhaled their breakfast. I try to get myself into an attitude of gratitude. I try to think of all the things I am thankful for: my family, my home, my….holy crap! That’s when it hit me and all the voices in the crowded room that is my mind cried out, “Eureka!”
As I was listing the things I am grateful for, something incredible dawned on me: ALL OF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.
I have a family: check
I have a house: check
I live in a place that has 4 real seasons: check
I do a morning radio show: check
I have voice tracked radio shows in other markets: check
I have my own studio: check
I have my own business: check
I am making movies: check
I was seriously blown away because I have had so many dreams of all of these things, but never at the same time. I remember when I wanted so badly to do radio, it was all I could think of. I remember seeing hosts with shows in many other states and how cool it would be.
While living in Florida and working my first professional job, I was trapped. It was always hot and I was in a prison of a job. I would watch movies and in those movies people lived lives they enjoyed. They were quite happy dressing warm in the winter and loved what they did for a living. They would come home to their family and enjoy life. I was so depressed from my position in life and all I wanted to do was create for a living. I wanted to make other people laugh and to think and to reflect on their own lives and appreciate what they had. I was so depressed that I slowly fell into a spiral of drugs and alcohol. I never sold my TV to get high or any of the other stereotypes, but I still felt empty inside unless I had a buzz. I lived that life for 16 years.
During the time I was struggling, there were patches of happiness. Those came in the form of my wife, Kelly and my kids. But there was still the darkness – the emptiness, the sadness and I could not fix it. I chose to drown it instead.
Today is a fantastic day because I am no longer caught in the grips of that sadness and it is so easy to maintain an attitude of gratitude. I have movie projects in the works and although each day has challenges, I can face them with joy in my heart. I really hope this happens to you, because I am ecstatic.
Peace and love, always.