I have nothing. I mean, I have a family, a house, a car, a minivan and lots of stuff. I have a few jobs and a whole lotta debt. I want to make a movie. I want to make a bunch of movies, but the first one is almost always the most difficult to get going. I have friends with movie making toys – but that’s how they make their living. So, I am sure I can get a break in price on certain things, but there are other people who work on set that I cannot ask to work for free. Actually, I already have done that and I absolutely hate it. People think making a movie is some kind of glamorous process and it’s just a joy from start to finish. There is some truth in there – but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, it is work…hard work. Sometimes it’s terribly stressful and agonizing. Many people have compared it to childbirth. I’ve never given birth, but I have witnessed it 3 times and I can kind of see the similarities, though I will not presume to have any idea what childbirth is like. Have I made it clear that I don’t know what giving birth feels like?
It’s my same old jam. “Do you know anyone with money who wants to invest in a movie?” The answer is always, “Hahahah”. Recently I have been trying to put together a shoot for a music video with a very talented young artist who I truly believe in. Again, I have no funding – but I have people who want to help make it happen. The usual conundrum is: Make it look pro without being technically “pro”. Pro means professional, as in paid professionals doing what they do professionally so this production looks professional. Oy veh all day!
All I want to do is create – so why does it have to be a difficult process that revolves around money? Because I cannot shoot what I want with the HD camcorder I have? Because I don’t own any lights? Other grip-related toys? Microphones? I used to, but I sold it. Maybe I should develop some discipline and write my ass off and try to get someone else to make my scripts? That would be cool. Yeah, I’ll do that. Hey Internet, thanks for listening (and not responding)